“Everyone says meditation will change my life. I've tried it hundreds of times. All it does is trap me alone with my worst thoughts in complete silence.”
Meditation has become the universal prescription for everything. Can't sleep? Meditate. Anxious? Meditate. But for a lot of people, sitting in silence is the psychological equivalent of being locked in a room with your worst enemy. ILTY gives you something meditation can't: a way to actively engage with your thoughts instead of just observing them.
There's actual research on this. It's called relaxation-induced anxiety, and it affects a significant number of people. When you try to quiet your mind, it can actually crank up the volume on intrusive thoughts. You're not bad at meditation. Your nervous system is doing something predictable.
The meditation industrial complex makes it sound like the only reason it wouldn't work is because you're not trying hard enough. That's not true. Some brains need active engagement, not passive observation. Some people process better through conversation, movement, or creative expression.
If you've given meditation a genuine try and it consistently makes you feel worse, that's valuable information about what you need. Not a failure on your part.
•Relaxation-induced anxiety is a real phenomenon where the shift from high alert to calm triggers a panic response in your nervous system
•For people with trauma, sitting quietly with your thoughts can surface painful memories without any structure to contain them
•Meditation asks you to observe thoughts without engaging. But for anxious brains, disengaging from threatening thoughts feels dangerous, not peaceful
•The expectation that you 'should' feel calm creates a secondary layer of anxiety when you don't
Instead of watching your thoughts float by like clouds (which, let's be honest, they never do), you actively work through them in conversation.
When your mind is racing, sometimes you need someone to match your energy and help you sort through the chaos, not whisper 'observe the thought' at you.
ILTY is available the moment silence becomes unbearable. You don't have to sit with anything alone if that's not what helps you.
We want to be honest about our limitations:
Yes. Studies have found that up to 25% of regular meditators experience adverse effects, including increased anxiety, panic, and intrusive thoughts. It's far more common than the wellness industry admits.
ILTY's companions draw from many approaches including elements of mindfulness, but it's conversational, not meditative. You'll never be asked to close your eyes, focus on your breath, or sit in silence. Unless that's specifically what you want.
Active coping strategies like conversation, physical movement, creative expression, or even structured problem-solving often work better for people who struggle with meditation. The goal is the same, processing your mental state, just through a different method.
The science behind why common relaxation advice backfires for anxious brains.
How a conversation-based approach differs from guided meditation.
Active anxiety support that doesn't require sitting still.
When breathing exercises feel like a patronizing non-answer to real pain.
ILTY is free during beta. It's not therapy. It's not a cure. It's a place to talk through what you're going through—honestly, without judgment, whenever you need it.