When nothing is ever good enough. When you'd rather not start than do it imperfectly. When the gap between what you did and what you should have done won't close.
Perfectionism sounds like a humble brag. 'Oh, I'm such a perfectionist.' But living inside it is exhausting. The impossible standards. The paralysis when you can't guarantee perfection. The crushing disappointment when reality doesn't match the version in your head.
It shows up everywhere. The email you rewrite six times. The project you never finish because it's never ready. The apology you agonize over for a minor mistake. The constant feeling that you're one error away from everything falling apart.
The cruelest trick: perfectionism disguises itself as high standards. It tells you that you're just dedicated, just thorough, just careful. But there's a difference between wanting to do well and being unable to tolerate anything less than flawless.
ILTY helps you examine the perfectionism—not celebrate it, not dismiss it, but understand it. Where does it come from? What is it protecting you from? And how do you move forward when 'perfect' isn't available?
Perfectionism frames everything as flawless or failure. ILTY helps you examine whether those are really the only two options.
Not lower standards—realistic ones. ILTY helps you distinguish between excellence and an impossible bar that keeps you stuck.
Perfectionism is often fear of failure wearing a mask. What happens if it's not perfect? ILTY helps you examine the actual consequences.
This isn't settling—it's recognizing that done and good beats perfect and nonexistent. ILTY helps you practice releasing the need for perfection.
Perfectionism usually has roots—a critical parent, early pressure to perform, a moment when not being perfect had real consequences. Understanding the source helps loosen its grip.
Can't start because you can't guarantee the outcome? That's perfectionism causing procrastination. ILTY helps you take the first imperfect step.
ILTY isn't scripted. Here's the kind of support you can expect:
“I've been working on this presentation for three weeks and I still can't finish it. Every time I think it's done, I find something else to fix. The deadline is tomorrow and I'm still tweaking slide fonts at midnight.”
Three weeks on a presentation that's probably been 'good enough' for two of those weeks. Let me ask: what are you afraid will happen if you present it as it is right now? Not the vague 'it's not ready'—what specific bad outcome are you trying to prevent?
“I made a typo in an email to a client and I've been spiraling about it for hours. I know it's just a typo. I know no one cares. But I feel physically sick about it.”
The physical reaction tells you this isn't about the typo—it's about what the typo represents to your perfectionism: evidence that you're not flawless, which your brain interprets as dangerous. Has the client responded? And more importantly, what do you think this typo says about you?
ILTY is support for everyday challenges—the worry, the rumination, the difficult moments. For clinical conditions, it works best alongside professional care.
High standards motivate you and feel satisfying when met. Perfectionism paralyzes you and never feels satisfied. If your standards consistently prevent you from finishing things, enjoying accomplishments, or tolerating normal mistakes, that's perfectionism—not high standards.
No—and that's not the goal. The goal is to help you set standards that serve you rather than trap you. You can still do excellent work without requiring perfection. ILTY helps you find the line between 'this is good work' and 'this is never good enough.'
Perfectionism itself isn't a diagnosis, but it's closely linked to anxiety, OCD, and depression. If your perfectionism is significantly impacting your functioning, relationships, or wellbeing, professional help can be very effective—especially CBT, which directly addresses the thinking patterns perfectionism relies on.
ILTY is free during beta. When you need support, start a conversation and see if it helps.