Therapy Waitlist? 7 Things to Do While You Wait

You finally made the call. You reached out to a therapist. And then you heard: "We can fit you in... in three months."

Therapy waitlists have gotten absurd. The therapist shortage is real, demand has surged, and insurance networks are limited. Finding a therapist with availability, affordable rates, and the right specialization can take months.

But you're struggling now. Three months feels like forever.

Here's how to support yourself while you wait.

First: This Is Frustrating and Valid

Let's acknowledge it: having to wait months for mental health care when you've finally worked up the courage to seek help is genuinely demoralizing. You're not being dramatic. The system is failing people.

If you're in crisis, don't wait:

• 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: Call or text 988
• Crisis Text Line: Text HOME to 741741
• Emergency services: 911 or your local emergency room

This article is for the space between "I need support" and "I'm in crisis." The waiting room.

1. Try More Therapists

Don't put all your eggs in one basket.

Expand your search:

• Psychology Today's directory lets you filter by insurance, specialty, and availability
• Ask for waitlist spots at multiple practices
• Consider therapists outside your immediate area who offer telehealth
• Ask about cancellation lists (openings from last-minute cancellations)
• Try different insurance networks or out-of-network options

Alternative providers:

• Licensed clinical social workers (LCSWs) often have shorter waits than psychologists
• Counselors and marriage/family therapists may have more availability
• University training clinics offer lower-cost options (supervised students)
• Community mental health centers often have sliding-scale fees

Keep searching while on the waitlist. A spot might open up sooner than expected.

2. Learn About What You're Dealing With

Understanding your condition gives you a sense of control and helps you prepare for therapy.

Psychoeducation: Read about what you're experiencing from reputable sources. Understanding why your brain does what it does can reduce shame and confusion.

Good sources:

• NIMH (National Institute of Mental Health)
• APA (American Psychological Association)
• Evidence-based books (ask a librarian or search "best books on [your issue]")

What to look for:

• Symptoms and how they manifest
• Contributing factors
• Evidence-based treatments
• What therapy typically involves

Caution: Don't diagnose yourself or fall down WebMD rabbit holes. The goal is understanding, not spiraling into worst-case scenarios.

3. Build a Support System

Professional help is valuable, but so is informal support.

Who can help:

• Friends who are good listeners
• Family members you trust
• Support groups (in-person or online)
• Peer support programs
• Religious or spiritual communities (if that's meaningful to you)

How to ask:

• Be specific: "Can I call you when I'm having a hard time?"
• Set expectations: "I don't need advice, just someone to listen"
• Express gratitude: People want to help but need guidance

Online communities:

• Reddit's mental health subreddits (be selective; some are healthier than others)
• Discord servers focused on mental health
• Structured support groups through organizations like NAMI

One caveat: lean on support systems, but don't expect them to be therapists. They're not trained for that, and too much can strain relationships.

4. Try Evidence-Based Self-Help

Self-help has a mixed reputation, but some approaches have genuine research support.

CBT workbooks: For depression: Feeling Good by David Burns For anxiety: The Anxiety and Worry Workbook by Clark and Beck For general mental health: Mind Over Mood by Greenberger and Padesky

These aren't as good as therapy, but they teach the same techniques therapists use.

Structured programs:

• MoodGym (online CBT program)
• SilverCloud (digital mental health platform)
• Headspace or Calm (for mindfulness-based approaches)

Key principle: Self-help works best when you actually do the exercises, not just read about them.

5. Use AI Tools Wisely

AI mental health tools aren't replacements for therapy, but they can help while you wait.

What AI can do:

• Provide 24/7 availability when you need to process something
• Teach coping skills and techniques
• Offer a space to think through problems
• Track mood and identify patterns
• Reduce isolation

What AI can't do:

• Replace a therapeutic relationship
• Handle crisis situations
• Diagnose or treat serious conditions
• Provide the same depth as human therapy

Our honest take (yes, we make ILTY): An AI companion can be genuinely useful for processing everyday struggles, working through anxious thoughts, and practicing coping skills. It's not therapy, but it's better than nothing, especially at 2am when no one else is available.

6. Address the Basics

Mental health is built on physical foundations. While waiting for therapy, shore these up:

Sleep:

• Consistent bedtime and wake time
• Cool, dark room
• No screens for an hour before bed
• Limit caffeine after 2pm

Sleep deprivation worsens almost every mental health condition.

Exercise:

• Any movement counts
• 30 minutes of moderate activity most days
• Walking is fine
• The mood benefits are well-established

Nutrition:

• Regular meals (blood sugar affects mood)
• Limit alcohol (it's a depressant)
• Minimize ultra-processed foods
• Stay hydrated

Social connection:

• Don't isolate
• Even brief positive interactions help
• In-person is better than digital when possible

These aren't substitutes for mental health care, but they're the foundation everything else builds on.

7. Build Coping Skills Now

You can start developing skills that therapy would teach anyway:

Grounding techniques: When anxious or overwhelmed, use the 5-4-3-2-1 technique: Name 5 things you see, 4 you hear, 3 you feel, 2 you smell, 1 you taste.

Breathing exercises: Box breathing (4 seconds inhale, 4 hold, 4 exhale, 4 hold) activates your parasympathetic nervous system.

Cognitive restructuring: When you notice a distressing thought, ask: Is this definitely true? What's the evidence? What would I tell a friend?

Behavioral activation: For depression: schedule activities that give you pleasure or a sense of accomplishment. Don't wait to feel motivated; act first.

Distress tolerance: For moments when you just need to survive: ice cubes in hands, cold water on face, intense exercise, strong tastes. These can interrupt overwhelming emotions.

What to Avoid While Waiting

Don't self-medicate: Alcohol and drugs might seem to help short-term but worsen most conditions long-term.

Don't isolate: The instinct to withdraw is often strong. Push against it gently.

Don't doom-scroll: Consuming constant negative content amplifies distress.

Don't catastrophize the wait: Three months is hard, but it's not forever. You can build skills now that will help when therapy starts.

Don't give up: Keep calling therapists. Keep working on the basics. Keep showing up for yourself.

When You Finally Get In

When your appointment arrives:

Be honest: Don't downplay what you've been going through.

Share what you've tried: Therapists appreciate knowing what you've already done.

Come prepared: Write down what you want to address so you don't forget.

Be patient: Therapy takes time. One session won't fix everything.

---

ILTY exists for the in-between moments, including the wait for therapy. When you need to process something at 3am, when the waitlist feels endless, when you need someone to help you think through what you're feeling. Not a replacement for professional help. A companion for the moments in between.

Try ILTY Free while you wait.

---

Related Reading

• AI Mental Health Apps: The Complete Guide: Understanding your options.
• AI Therapy Apps in 2026: What's Real vs. Hype: Navigating the landscape.
• What Your Therapist Wishes You Knew: Getting the most from therapy when you get there.